1. Kids! They make the stage their playground and suddenly their whole world revolves around that stage. NOTHING you do, can get them to get off.
2. Aunties and their jewellery exhibition. Wear WHATEVER you can find in your lockers! It becomes a now or never situation. The one looking like a gold and diamond shop wins.
3. The match making aunties! You can always find that one aunty who knows almost everyone at the wedding and is busy introducing families to each other for the next “match made in heaven”. The “Haaaave you met Ted” moment of Indian weddings!
4. The men at the drinks table, discussing every damn topic from politics to sports to families to drinks, over not one, but MANY drinks.
5. The gossip group. Or should I say groups? Different groups of excited invitees in every corner of the marriage hall/lawn discussing (with animated expressions) whether its a love marriage or an arranged marriage, whether the car parked outside is a gift from the bride’s parents or not, the exchange of “gifts” between the families and A LOT more.
“Oh? They work together?
Yes, yes. Kids these days are like that only. Dating-shating you know.”
“Oh acha that matrimony website?”
“Must’ve given a lot of gold no?”
6. The reunion group. There is always that one group which reunites at every wedding, with lots of hugs and mwah mwahs.
7.The foodies. People who attend weddings only for free food. They are least bothered about who is getting married, they only attend the wedding as food critics.
“The daal is okay.. Try the mixed veg. The naan is so dry! Urgh!”
8. The ones with the “what am I doing here” look on their faces. Teenagers usually, dragged along by parents to meet “new people” (basically uncles and aunties), to brag about their high percentage in exams. “So beta, what are you doing these days? What are your future plans? My son came first in his engineering batch“
9. The Miss India’s. Weddings are the perfect opportunities for every girl to live her ‘Miss India dream’ and look better than her cousins/friends. Perfect clothes, perfect make-up and the over flowing attention.
10. The brides family. Joining hands and greeting every single guest with nervous smiles on their faces.
11. Of course the most important one! The band, baaja and baraatees! They define punctuality in whole new way! A 3-4 hours delay is actually considered being “on time”. Because dancing on all the dhinchak tunes is also important no? Who cares about the mahurat and the poor bride, all dressed up in heavy lehengas and jewellery, waiting for her “Prince Charming”?
So next time you attend an Indian wedding, you know what to watch out for! 😀